Monday, December 06, 2004

LATELY, I'VE BEEN TO BUSY TO REFLECT ON WHAT'S BEEN GOING WITH ME. JUST BEEN BUSY TAKING CARE OF EVERYDAY STUFF AND HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LIKE HANGING OUT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I HAVE TO HAVE MY ALONE TIME. I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE ABOUT ME. I REALLY DON'T MIND BEING ALONE SOMETIMES. IT ONLY SUCKS WHEN I START THINKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE I KNOW, MOST ARE COUPLES! DAMN...
ANYWAYS... ME ON RELATIONSHIPS. ONE THING I'VE LEARNED FROM THIS PAST YEAR, AFTER MY BREAK UP WITH MY EX, IS THAT I JUST CAN'T SETTLE FOR ANYONE. I'M NOT THE PICKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD, BUT THERE ARE THOSE SPECIAL QUALITIES THAT I LOOK FOR FROM SOMEONE. I NEVER MAKE AN EFFORT TO LOOK FOR A RELATIONSHIP, BUT I'M NEVER BIASED FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. MY FRIEND TRAVIS, TOLD ME THAT "I'M ALONE CAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE THIS WAY." SOMEWHAT THIS IS TRUE AND AT THE SAME TIME IT'S NOT. I DON'T CHOOSE TO BE ALONE, I JUST DON'T PRESSURE GIRLS TO BE WITH ME OR HAVE A MUTUAL AGREEMENT OF BEING TOGETHER. I DON'T EVER WANT TO DO THAT. I JUST WANT THE PERSON GETTING TO KNOW ME FOR WHO I REALLY AM AND LOVE ME OR HATE ME FROM THEN ON. J/K :) I JUST DON'T WANT THE OTHER PERSON TO SETTLE ON ME EITHER.
THE SENSE OF SELF AND PARTNER TO ME IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT. I DON'T THINK THAT SOMEONE SHOULD LOOSE THEMSELVES IN A RELATIONSHIP. I LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY AND I REALLY TOOK THIS NEW WISDOM TO HEART. I KNOW NOW THAT I CAN STILL GIVE MYSELF AND KEEP ALL THE PROMISES IN A RELATIONSHIP AND STILL BE ME. I SOUND LIKE SUCH A SAP. LOL QUIETLY. MORE TO COME...HAVE TO GO STUDY...THANKS FOR READING.

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