Monday, November 22, 2004

MY REASON TO START

THERE ARE ALWAYS MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD, ALWAYS ABOUT MY FUTURE, MY DREAMS, AND LOVE. I'M ALWAYS HOPING AND WISHING FOR THE BEST IN EVERYTHING, AND I ALWAYS DO MY BEST. I EXPECT A LOT OUT OF MYSELF ABOUT THE PRESENT TIME CONCERNING THE 3 ABOVE. SO WHEN THINGS DON'T WORK OUT THE WAY I IMAGINE IT IN MY THOUGHTS, I AM GREATLY DISAPPOINTED AT MYSELF. LATELY, IT'S BEEN THAT WAY AND IT PUTS A HEAVY BURDEN ON ME. I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE DISAPPOINTMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I DIDN'T ACT UPON. IM AFRAID OF WHAT'S NEXT FOR ME; THE FEELING OF BEING ALONE, THE FRIGHTENED FACES I SEE OF MYSELF IN MY DREAMS, AND THE UNDESIRABLE TOMORROWS.

THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN A SAD GROWING EXPERIENCE FOR ME. AND I DON'T MEAN TO IMPOSE MYSELF ON PEOPLE, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THEY HAVE THEIR OWN TRIALS AND CONCERNS ABOUT LIFE. IM IN A WONDER OF, HOW I CAME ACROSS OF THIS "BLOG." THIS WILL BE MY THERAPY FOR NOW, JUST BECAUSE THINGS ARE STARTING TO CONCERN ME IN A DIFFERENT LEVEL.

I DON'T MIND CONVERSING WITH FRIENDS, BUT THEY ONLY KNOW VERY LITTLE OF ME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE A MYSTERY TO ANYONE, BUT THEY ONLY KNOW OF ME... PLUS, SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS AN OPINION ABOUT YOUR SITUATION OR THEORIES ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BE ANALYZED BY OTHER PEOPLE, THAT'S JUST ME BEING ME. I LOVE THAT MY FRIENDS SAY THAT THEY CARE AND I TOTALLY LOVE THEM FOR THAT. BUT THEY STILL KNOW VERY LITTLE OF ME, WHICH IS FINE. THEY ARE STILL GETTING TO KNOW ME AND IM STILL GETTING TO KNOW THEM.


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